Should I Say Yes or No?

Dear Universe,

I’m spiraling.

My ex-husband asked if he can bring the kids home to me a day earlier than originally agreed.

I have no reason to say “no” other than I don’t want to. I was looking forward to a whole day without plans or responsibilities. But is that reason enough to say no? Shouldn’t a mom want to be with her kids more? Shouldn’t I take the responsibility? If I say no, then he will call his mom or someone else and fuck up their days so they have to help when I’m sitting here reading a book in my bed. But should I feel guilty about that? Should I feel guilty for taking space to keep my nervous system regulated so I can take care of my kids without stress the rest of the week? Or to create the conditions where I can be inspired to express? Are the ideas that I write and share less meaningful to the world than whatever his team of salespeople will accomplish at the meeting he needs to attend? Or is it the principle that it’s his time to have them and therefore it should be his problem to fix? Have I been accommodating enough? But if he takes them another time when I need relief, isn’t it OK? But when do I ever need relief when I already prioritize keeping my schedule free? Should his priorities trump mine because they’re about “work” and mine aren’t? Or are the kids always the top priority and I should just do whatever is best for them despite the rest of it?

I don’t know, Universe.

I said yes.

I think I have more questions burning now than relief at my answer.

The spiral continues.

XO – Bailee

October 26, 2026