I Need to Apologize

Dear Universe,

I think I owe them a bit of an apology – my ex and her.

Not because of my writing or any of that (sorry not sorry), but because maybe I’ve been thrown into a situation lately that helps me see them with a bit more compassion.

(I guess I don’t know why I am telling you this when you were the asshole who forced this karmic lesson in the first place but here we are).

I gave him/her/them a lot of unpleasant grief for not having stopped things from progressing to the point that they did. I couldn’t fathom how it could get so out of control and how all morals could just fly out the door.

And now… maybe I do get it.

I had to let go of a situation I wasn’t in any way ready to let go of because it was the right thing to do.

But fuck if it doesn’t feel like the complete opposite of the right thing.

It’s like those reels where someone is sitting all peacefully on a rock or something and their brain says they did the right thing, and then it cuts to like shit blowing up and tornadoes and things with the overlayed text “how it feels to do the right thing.”

Yeah. That.

It is really hard.

And maybe I’m sitting here questioning if it really was the right thing. I guess time will tell and I’ll have to wait for you to reveal all of your freaking irritating wisdom.

I just wanted you to know, Universe, that I see what you’ve done here. Message received. I’m still learning.

And to my ex and to her – I’m sorry. I’m sorry for demonizing you for being human. You made decisions I probably wouldn’t have and they hurt pretty badly, but I understand the complexity more now that I’ve lived it.

There are probably more apologies and more lessons to come (god help us).

Please forgive me.

XO – Bailee

July 9, 2026