What if healing is a job?

Dear Universe,

What if healing is a job?

A friend of mine has been encouraging me to get a job. Like, a real big girl job because apparently this whole unemployment thing is about to, you know, implode my life. No big deal.

And this friend is right. I know that. The message has been received and the care behind it is much appreciated.

But my brain has a fucking toddler-worthy temper tantrum every time I hear that.

For some reason I go into complete internal rebellion at being reminded that I am apparently expected to be a productive, well-functioning member of this silly society (a far better than average society, yes, but that’s a letter for another day).

Now to be clear, Universe, my resistance to all of this doesn’t come from not wanting to work. I probably appear to be a lazy pile of shit from the outside because I’m not currently working, but my issue is more with a JOB, not to work itself.

In fact, I spend most of my time doing a buttload of work. It’s just not conventional work.

I am doing THE work.

I work on understanding my conditioning. Identifying my patterns and changing the shitty ones. Reflecting on my little T traumas. Tracing back the origination of my fucked-upness.

I assess the mistakes that I’ve made. I review the failures. I pinpoint where I’ve abandoned myself in my relationships. I learn from all of the lessons hidden inside the curveballs life has chucked right at my fucking face.

I analyze spiritual models. I question the meaning of life. I notice beauty and shit. I poke holes in beliefs that don’t serve us. I seek truth where we have accepted illusion.

I listen to my intuition. I move my body. I nourish my soul.

And yeah, I guess to most people that just seems like a bunch of woo bullshit. Healing and growth and alignment? Unproductive. Useless. Go earn some money.

And maybe they’re right.

But guess what?

I have become resilient as fuck.

I am nurturing my creativity.

I experience joy regularly.

I set and hold more boundaries. Speak up more. Ask for more help. Stay more regulated. Fuel my purpose. See where I still need to grow.

And, god, that is better than anything I could have spent that fucking money on anyway.

I know I need to survive, Universe. I know I need to contribute. I know money is important.

But this work is, too.

And now I guess I need a job. Boo.

XO – Bailee

October 7, 2026