This Is The Last Letter…

Dear Universe,

I’ve written my last letter about the affair and the divorce. Or rather, the last letter about the pain, betrayal, anger… all of the negative fallout.

It’s not that I’m over it. Obviously not. It’s not that I don’t care. I obviously do. It’s not that I’m no longer impacted. I obviously am.

There just isn’t anything left to process. It just… is. I can’t keep putting more story together. I can’t predict or change the outcomes. The only thing left to do is accept it and let the rest play out the way it’s meant to be. The only thing left to do is move on.

This event was a catalyst for change in my life, and like any catalyst, its energy has been used up and turned into something else.

So my letters are going to be a bit different from now on, Universe. They are going to be about my life moving forward.

These letters are going to be about what my life is becoming. Who we – my daughters and I – are becoming.

They’ll be about the lessons I’m learning. What I’m noticing. How I am getting back on my own two feet and living the life I want. The life I deserve.

They are going to be about my choices. My direction. My growth. My love.

Presence. Trust. Empowerment. Gratitude.

To be honest, that might make for some seriously boring reading after the drama and entertainment value of my recent writing. And I guess won’t promise some of those themes might not still slip in sometimes.

But these letters moving forward will be full of truth and vision. Humanness and life. I hope there will be just as much and more to absorb from that as there has been from the other crap.

I want to explore purpose. Meaning. What it is to be human. What it feels like to approach life with intention and consciousness – to see beyond the distractions and stimulation of our modern times and live in a way that feels real and whole.

And yeah, heartbreak and relationships and all of that are clearly part of being human and living a real life. But I’ve been drowning in that one element for a while now and I’m ready to come up for air and start seeing more. Feeling more. Being more.

I’m grateful to have gotten to this point, Universe. I’m not sure I thought I would ever be here just a few weeks ago. But I can feel that my writing to you is bringing change in me. And I can only imagine what good can come if I continue the journey here on paper (screen).

This is the beginning of a new chapter – a new work of art, even. I end the old one with thanks for the lessons it brought, but I don’t want to return to it ever again. This new one though – I’m Bob Rossing that shit into a masterpiece.

And it starts…. now.

XO – Bailee