Hateful Mornings

I hate that my children sleep, however angelically, until the clock is well past when we should have begun our morning toiling, but I also hate waking them from their peaceful slumbers before they’re fully rested.

I hate that they won’t just rip the bandaid covers off and get moving, but I also hate abducting them from the nourishing cocoon of their warm beds.

I hate that they want to cling to my legs and wrap their little arms around my chest when we have more important things to accomplish, but I also hate pushing them away.

I hate that they eat two bites of the admittedly anticlimactic breakfast I’ve prepared for them and leave the rest for the inevitable fruit flies who continue to find comfortable refuge in our home, but I also hate forcing them to eat when their bodies aren’t yet hungry.

I hate that they reject the outfits I’ve tediously chosen and opt instead for clothes that do not match in the slightest, but I also hate that I even care about what the other parents must think when they show up clad in their eclectic apparel.

I hate that they won’t stop their suddenly energetic and too-noisy-for-my-overstimulated-brain gameplay so I can get them dressed in said mismatched clothes, but I also hate putting an end to their well-coordinated and highly imaginative play.

I hate that I have to yell at them a minimum of 10 times to get their coats and shoes on before they’re finally thrust into action, but I also hate that I yell.

I hate that they instantly get their shoes wet in the pools of rainbow-sheened street runoff on our trek to preschool, but I also hate preventing them from the joy of jumping in and watching the resulting splatter about the sidewalk.

I hate that I have to constantly remind them (amid multiple glances down at my watch) to keep walking so we can get to our destination on time, but I also hate that we can’t slow down to look at the snails, rolie polies, and earthworms we meet along our journey.

I hate the rush. The schedule. The routine vs the rhythm.

I hate hating our mornings.

Perhaps it’s time to stop the hate.

-Bailee