This Is What I Needed To Say To Her

Dear Universe,

I had things I wanted to say to her before she met my children. Things I had rehearsed again and again and again in my head. Things I wasn’t given an opportunity to say.

Because now she has met my kids. She has officially become a part of their lives. And I’m feeling surprisingly. . . neutral about that.

But I also feel like the words I’ve been sitting on are going to burst out of me anyway, so guess who gets to be the lucky recipient?

I hope she understands that she is now a role model for my daughters – that if she remains in their lives, my two girls are going to look to her as an example of what it means to be a woman.

I haven’t exactly respected the decisions she has made and how they have already irrevocably impacted my daughter’s lives, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and clear the slate with the expectation that she steps up to fill that role well.

I expect that she model kindness and understanding. That she will model integrity and honesty and fairness.

There is likely a long road ahead of us working together to be anything even remotely resembling friends, but I genuinely hope that for the sake of my girls that we can respect one another enough to provide a structure that works for them moving forward.

I do intend to be honest and open about this story to my girls someday. I will not sugarcoat or cover up what happened for anyone’s sake. What they will learn is the strength that their mother had in living through this experience and doing what was best for them despite it all. They will learn from me what it means to see the humanness in others and live with compassion in the face of shitty situations that don’t necessarily warrant it.

I hope she is up to this task and can prove to be a woman that my children can genuinely look up to. If she can, I welcome her openly into our lives.

That’s what I wanted to say, Universe. Now it’s out there and I can only hope that it be received with acceptance.

Thanks for listening.

XO – Bailee

July 14, 2026